Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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