U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
