just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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