I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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