he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
