I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
