i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
