I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
