Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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