I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize