I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
