It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
