I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
