i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
