theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You pole danced in your parka.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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