Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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