i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
