ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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