how can u be prego again
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize