I think my vagina is haunted
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
