a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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