It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize