Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
