I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
