Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
