Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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