Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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