I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
