i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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