I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
