his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
