What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
