I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
