my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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