On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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