My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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