Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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