Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
third nipple confirmed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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