I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
