But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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