Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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