I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
