Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
we should paint friendship bongs
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