phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize