we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
