We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
