Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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