What tipped you off? The sombrero?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
