Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
