You're completely useless in the revolution.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize