That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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