I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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