Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm at about main and main street
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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