dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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