Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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