we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
