What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
