we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
