Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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