is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So here I am, sexting at work.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
