You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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